Monday, July 16, 2007

Carnage in the bedroom

We may as well live in a swamp. Last year O'lover and two neighbors contracted the West Nile Virus. They were all sick for days.

This year it seems that I'm the only one being eaten alive.

"Oliver have you been getting ANY mosquito bites?"

He just said "No".

Hahahahahaaaaaa. I guess it really is my turn to be sacrament for the little buggers.

Last night and for several nights previous...

O'lover has been passed out on our bed completely oblivious of the war i wage with a swarm of mosquitoes. I've been using our mattress as a trampoline so i can smack mosquitoes against the ceiling with my library book (still reading Anna Karenina). The resulting carnage on my formerly white ceiling and my growing ruthless cold bloodedness BEGS the question:

Is this What Jesus Would Do?
Would he kill poor innocent buggies? Or would he command them to leave? Can't see him wasting his time.

So I'm left to think...I'm bringing this on myself. It must be something I'm
doing to call forth the pestilence.

It's the diet coke with lime.

We all make sacrifices. I can't drink carbonation discreetly. And to get through my work day I've taken up drinking diet coke with lime, thus sacrificing my ladyness.

And this year I'm the mosquitoes star attraction. Hmmm. see the connection? Soooo if i take back my ladyness, dump the diet coke with lime, i may restore balance to the universe! and the pestilence will pass us over.

"honey, i really don't think i'm a very logical person."

he just said, "i love you."

"but do you think i'm logical?"

he just said, "that's a vague question."


5 comments:

shannon said...

Love it. So happy you are going to chiner.

emily said...

You are... amusing. I enjoyed browsing your blog. I linked onto yours from cass. Mosquitos suck, luckily it's too hot in AZ! BTW, this is emily (christensen) mcphie

luminainfinite said...

Yes please tell the Korean guy from Americans for the Arts to write to me because I am going to be in New York next week and I want to meet him. Of course you're a member of Americans for the Arts... me too! I adore you.

Cassandra Barney said...

Ha! Funny to see my sister's comment there! I was just going to say...last night for the first time in a long time (even though I consume enough diet coke to have it be at least 5% of my physical make-up), there was this tiny buzzing in my ear...I think it was singing Oh Canada. I thought about your blog entry in through the night and I fought to keep my sanity. Hmmm...shat dod I need to do to keep the balance. I'll be thinking about that while I pack.
Cheers!
Cass
PS I have Anna Karenina by my bed too.

sue-donym said...

Diet Coke with lime does not make you less of a lady. (We may need to fight over this one)

You get mosquito bites because you are the quintessential outdoor girl. They can sense it. They know you would never spray them with deat.