Wednesday, June 18, 2008


Check your horoscope here.

I won't make you read my horrorscope but its uncanny how Rob Brezny, of Free Will Astrology, is infuriatingly right. Damn him and his freakity freak charts!

Anyway, my sun sign calls for me to do a sort of confessional (not in so many words).

Here goes.
If i can manage it.

Forgive me bloggers, for i have withheld.

have you forgiven me yet?

ok, thanks, bye!

let's begin again. i can do this.

Hey Ollie? What should I confess?
Why do you feel like you need to confess?
(i hand him the City Weekly with astrology reading.)
tick toc.
Uhhh. you do withhold a LOT.

k, people in all seriousness. i wish my blog were the kind of blog that helped me feel closer to people. like so many of your blogs. truthfully, my own intensity scares me shitless. but i've never experienced anyone else's intensity being too much for me.

so once upon a time, i got divorced. did ya know? and i was such a mess. like of the worst kind of mess. i went to stay with my sister in san francisco. and she picked me up from the airport. and i was such a mes (really!). but there is something inside of me that will not allow me to be a mess in front of little kids. and Tammy picked me up with her friend's 9-year-old kid in the car. so we sang songs from the Carpenters and you would have never in a million years guessed i was a disaster area. faker, that i am. i ended up staying with the nine year old in her house near the Presidio while all the adults were at school or work. It was my salvation!

This awesome kid took me (who was i fooling? i must have been like a zombie!) to a circus for Kaiser Permenante employees. And she totally lied that we were related to one of the doctors and got in! Then we went from booth to booth and she told everyone my story which her parents told her (which i would have never done) and pretty much every single person at that fair hugged me and told me their sad stories and gave me their e-mail and phone numbers and hugged me some more.

and i thank ashley (the then nine year old). because she made sure the universe embraced me and made me a coping human again.

Here's Ashley now.

"[the] mandate in the coming months is to overcome those challenges as you learn to express yourself with ever greater candor

and clarity

and clout." -Rob Brezny

Mercy! Okay okay!

p.s. i hope to hear from all you other scorps soon!

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
How well are you capitalizing on this year's unique opportunities, Scorpio? Now that we're halfway through 2008, let's take an inventory. One of the most important things you're doing, I hope, is increasing your effectiveness as a communicator. What do I mean by that? While it's true that you Scorpios gather information more skillfully than any other sign, you aren't necessarily as blessed when it comes to sharing information. In part that's because you believe that keeping secrets enhances your personal power. And in part it's because you sometimes forget that other people aren't as clued in to what's happening below the surface as you are. Your mandate in the coming months is to overcome those challenges as you learn to express yourself with ever-greater candor and clarity and clout.


Amber said...

Darn. My horoscope (Sag.) did nothing for me. It was all about money, being in control, comfortable, and not materialistic. Not a problem, really. We've managed to remain purposefully unemployed for a year now. New baby. And really, life couldn't be any better.

I wish something would wake me up into some serious action.

I was trying to remember the last, real, deep conversation I'd had with someone. Something spiritual. Philosophical. Existential.

Other than consoling my sister through her divorce (which is on a different level than the above, I feel) I've got nothing.

Maybe I don't NEED it anymore, since I'm finally at peace "religiously." But I sure loved those shared soul searching times.

Sorry, likely wrong place to go off. This is YOUR place. Thanks for sharing your story.

Quel said...

sounds like you're on track! i really want to know your story (i enjoy your blog) so please please share on. and i love that you're a sag.

Kalli Ko said...

you know what's funny? I blog a lot about random, dumb, funny and mundane stuff on my blog. But RARELY do I ever get serious about the REAL stuff I've got going on. I'm a secret keeper too.

We Scorps are complicated. I do need to be a better sharer/communicator but a lot of times I don't even know how to explain how I'm feeling. I even have problems sharing with my own husband. Good thing he knows me better and does the digging until I do.

What a jewel.

Quel said...

kalli ko,

yay another scorp! and complicated is right! in a way we're open books but with so many layers of subtext...(so goes the theory.)

Quel said...

kalli ko, i forgot to add that i hear you about how nice it is to have a husband who "gets" you, sometimes better than you get yourself. so nice.

d/b/c/m said...

yeah for your horoscope--i've been missing you! i love hearing your stories, but totally understand how it's hard to be open (i've withdrawn lately...but there is a season for everything...)

and yes, i knew your previous husband, not well at all, but i mus say you didn't have the same vibe of unity that you and ollie have. i love love love you guys together, even though i don't know him, either. but my sense is that you guys green thumbs were destined to garden together!

and my horoscope (taurus) is prodding me into action, too. i've got to get back into school.

Quel said...

b, congrats on grad school. i have no doubt your whole life will always be one of quick paced action. isn't it thrilling when life almost commands you to take the next step?!

and there IS a season for everything but it remains mysterious why sometimes i forget i have a blog and other times i'm obsessed. the ebb and flow of life...

i'm a tiny bit surprised you remember the ex. (but of course you do). after all these years the whole thing seems so remote (and not). and come to think of it i remember the guy you were dating at that time. enough said for now.